Resolute in my resolutions

Well, I'm trying! Ok, the resolution about being more social: I'm doing that, I think. By that, I meant I'd try to just simply get out of the house more. Jackson and I have gone to the mall once a week so he can play in the kids' area. This is nice, but he usually gets bored with it after about 20 minutes and continually walks off. This wouldn't be so bad if the floors weren't filthy, and if he didn't try to put in his mouth every piece of shmutz he picks up. The mall is boring, being only about 30% inhabited by stores, so there's not much there to see. But we go. We didn't this week because we got busy and it was COLD, but we'll start up again next week.

I'm trying my best to be more active with Jackson. This isn't always easy because, frankly, he's not the most exciting little person in the world. That's not to say I don't delight in so many things he does, it's just not easy for me to immerse myself completely in every single little thing that happens with him. There are times when I just sit and watch him play, wondering what goes through his head. I see him happy with certain things, and unhappy, and I wonder what makes him that way. But there are times when I just need to step away from it all, so I'll read a magazine or sit on the computer in the dining room (where I can see everything he does--he's never completely alone!). Admittedly, there are times when I count down the minutes until the next nap. Mother of the year, I am.

The other night, I was feeding him dinner. He usually has a couple "courses," and I've traditionally he's had applesauce as the final one. The last few weeks, I've fed him something different. The other night, I went back to serving him applesauce. I gave him the first bite, and he looked at me in surprised and proceeded to applaud. Now, one might argue that he was just randomly clapping his little hands, however I believe he knew exactly what he was doing. He's a child prodigy in that way.

We'll be down 4 weekends out of 10 after this one. Paul's been spending every Friday and Saturday night with his brother, who's in isolation. It's a great thing he's doing to help out, but he's sorely missed at home! I count so much on him on weekends so I can get things done without a 1 year old strapped to me. He comes home Sunday afternoons and it's depressing to think he has to go to work the next day. I try not to make him feel bad about this--he shouldn't, not at all. Weekends for me are more physically exhausting, but for Paul, they're so much more mentally tiring. I know he'd much rather be home, spending his time with Jackson. Now all he gets are evenings for 90 minutes and the occasional 20 minutes at lunch each day (if he comes home, which isn't everyday). Oh, and a few extra hours on Sunday afternoons when we don't have plans.

On to bigger and better days! Stay warm!!