TWO!

It's almost 10pm here tonight, and I'm sitting here in my messy office thinking about where I was 2 years ago. Tired, VERY pregnant with a HUGE baby, ready to go to bed, knowing the next day I would become someone's mother. Little did I know that just 2 hours later, my water would break (after a pee break), sending me in a panic to the hospital. Thankfully, all was well and I had no hard labor before my scheduled c-section (which was bumped up a couple hours). While I remember that day and a few others before it, my life truly began that December 3rd, and it's been an amazing 2 years since then.

Most people know that I'm not a particularly religious person, but I'm thankful every single day for this little boy. There are times where he tries my patience and sucks the life right out of me, but I wouldn't change a single thing about him. I love him more than life, and I'm grateful that I get to stay home and raise him. I don't mean to insult or cause grief to anyone who doesn't stay home---there are life choices that must be made, some for financial and others for emotional reasons. I've waited MY.WHOLE.LIFE to do what I'm doing now, and there isn't a thing I would change. Yeah, we have good days and bad, but I know that this is what I've been waiting for for as long as I can remember. Sometimes I wish I was 20 years younger, and other times I'm glad I'm not! I know I wouldn't have been able to handle all this back then, nor would I probably have had everything back then that I do now---an amazing and supportive husband, an incredible extended family, a beautiful house in a beautiful neighborhood. I'm glad we don't have to struggle as so many do (that's not to say we don't have struggles!).

And Jackson. There aren't words to describe how I feel about him and how happy he makes me. I've learned more in these past 2 years than in the previous 40+, and I know there's a lot more learning to be had. I'm trying so hard to drink in every moment with him. It's a hard pill to swallow sometimes, knowing I won't see those moments again with any other child, so this is it. It's up to me to make the most of them.

Tomorrow is his big day, then Sunday we celebrate. To say I'm excited doesn't begin to explain it. This party isn't for me, it's to celebrate my baby, my sweet 2 year old who will only turn 2 once in his life. I know he won't remember it, nor will he have any idea what's really going on, but I want to make it special for him.

Happy Birthday to the brightest, shiniest light in my life. I love you, my sweet boy.