How could he do it?

Earlier this afternoon, I read an article about Josh Powell, the man who's wife Susan disappeared over 2 years ago, seemingly without a trace. She left behind 2 young boys, and suspicion always fell on her husband but there was never enough evidence to prove he had anything to do with her disappearance. Today, he allegedly blew himself and his 2 boys up after they were dropped off for a supervised visit.

I've heard of this happening with other parents, those who kill their children (some succeed in killing themselves as well). Andrea Yates from TX, Susan Smith from SC, Marilyn Lemak from Naperville...the list goes on. Many of these parents, if still alive, are left to contemplate their actions while living behind bars or in a mental facility.

I don't get it. I don't know how a person can kill his/her own child or children. What's even more confusing to me is why these kids weren't getting help in the first place. Josh Powell's kids were getting help and should have remained in the custody of their maternal grandparents. There are flaws in the system---I get that---but these things still manage to happen.

Does it ever click in the parent's head to let the child go? To let him/her live? Especially if the parent intends to kill himself/herself? Why not just let the child live?

Stupid questions with no answers. It just made me so sad to read that article today. The Cox family (the boys' maternal grandparents) have suffered enough, losing their daughter, and now this. My heart goes out to them.

Tonight, I looked at my beautiful boy who wasn't the best boy today, but I can't imagine any act that would make me want to harm one hair on his little body. That would make me want to take his life. I'm grateful to not be psychotic enough to do anything harmful to my son. Sorry for rambling tonight. Just a lot of thoughts scrambling around in my head.