Paul and I met probably close to 20 years ago for the first time. We had a mutual friend, Michelle (someone I went to college with, but I don't remember how he and Michelle met). Michelle took me to a dragon boat race on the Fox River to participate with Paul and a gaggle of his co-workers. I remember thinking he was so cute, and probably the nicest guy I'd met in a long time. I don't remember much about the race though, nor about anything else going on at that time.
At some point, maybe days later, I tagged along with Michelle to a bar in St. Charles where we met a big group of friends she hung out with, Paul being among them. The bar was a confetti bar, and the floor was covered in about 3-5 inches of little paper confettis, as if someone sat for years with a hole punch and a lot of paper. My recollection of events leading up to going to the bar are sketchy, but I do remember being there and flirting shamelessly with Paul. He didn't seem all that interested, though that didn't stop me from trying.
At one point, I remember standing in a circle of the friends we were with, next to Paul (to his left). He was holding a cup of beer, and I stood with a handful of confetti. I held it high above his head and let the confetti dribble down the back of his shirt. All of a sudden, he took that beer and flung his hand back, letting go of the beer down the front of my shirt. Now, he says that I was getting confetti in his shirt and that he warned me to stop (I vaguely remember the warning, but CLEARLY remember the beer). I stood there stunned, and Michelle grabbed me and ran us both out the door. I remember walking to her car and saying over and over, "Holy crap, he just dumped a beer on me!"
What followed was about 2 years of avoidance from both of us. Michelle would call and invite me to stuff, and my first question was always, "Will Paul be there?" If he was, I wasn't, and vice versa. It wasn't until about '97 or '98 when Michelle's parents threw themselves a housewarming party. We both found out the other was going to be there, and I relented and let myself be talked into going. At the party, he came up and apologized for what he'd done, and I immediately forgave him. He was so damned nice that I couldn't NOT forgive him. We talked and I told him about living in Japan. He mentioned going to visit a friend in Hong Kong and asked if he could stop in Tokyo on the way for a few days. I thought it was a great idea so we planned it.
Paul came to Japan in February, 1999. He stayed for 3-4 days, and I played tour guide around the city. We even spent the night in Sakai, the town where I lived, and he even went with me to taiko practice while he was there. It was the most fun I'd had there, and I fell head over heels for him, however I had been told (by Michelle) that he had started dating a girl a few weeks before coming to Asia. I knew this while he was there so I had to keep the flirting to a minimum. Hard to do when you're sleeping in the next room (or the same room as we did at the ryokan in Tokyo). After he left, I sent him a letter and told him how much I enjoyed his visit, and said that if he ever found himself single again to contact me. I think there may have been a few emails after that, but then I didn't hear from him again...
...until 2003. Michelle's cancer had relapsed (several times), and we saw each other for the first time (since '99) in September of '03 at a fundraiser for Michelle. We said hi and made small talk, but it was a little uncomfortable. I really hadn't thought of him much in those years before. For the next few months, we would pass each other in the hospital hallways on occasion while visiting Michelle, and I think he was at a sleepover she had one night with her friends (he's always been "one of the girls!").
In late January 2004, I got an email from him early one week (a Tues?), asking if I'd be free to go to a musical that Saturday. He had tickets to a matinée in the city and no one to go with. I had nothing going on so I went. And I went with absolutely NO expectations. I mean, I'd already struck out twice and I certainly wasn't going to go for strike 3. I went, and we had a great time. It was in the early afternoon and we went out to dinner afterwards (I was suppose to pay, per my suggestion, but had forgotten my credit card!). Then he took me home to my condo where we spent the next 7 (or so) hours talking. And talking. And talking and talking and talking. We were exhausted by 3am but he left after that, and I think he called me every single night after that for months. We would talk and have fun and do stuff together, but it was always just as friends.
One night in May of that year, after having gone out with him for the umpteenth time as a friend, I got an itch to do something to try to move things along. I sent him an email saying I'd had a few too many to drink, and asked him outright what was going on with us. Were we a couple? Were we dating? If not, could we be? I held nothing back. Funny thing was, I was sober as a judge when writing it. I didn't hear back from him that night, nor the next day or the day after that...not even our usual call. I was TERRIFIED that I'd ruined things, and I wrote back to him and apologized, and asked him to please not take it seriously. I heard nothing for about a week when one afternoon, I was leaving my condo to go to a hair appointment. I stepped out the door and saw Paul walking up the sidewalk outside my building. I was puzzled because it was in the 4 o'clock hour, and he normally didn't get off work until 5 or later. He walked up to me holding a bag, and we both stopped in front of each other. I was scared to death, but he looked and me and said, "I think we should date." That was it. He brought me Chinese food to celebrate the moment (which had to wait because I had an appt I had to keep, and he had to leave to go bowling that night). I hugged him, and he left the food in my fridge for later. It was one of the sweetest moments I can remember! I had never been so happy in my life.
That was the beginning to a lovely ride!
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