Unfair

I'm going to rant a little here. I have to wonder, when I read headlines about a parent microwaving a child or a father sentenced to jail for forcing his child to stab the family cat, how these people become parents in the first place. I've been working SO DAMNED HARD to become a parent and have failed, but these absolute morons out there are popping kids out left and right and doing horrible things to them. What am I doing wrong?

I babysat tonight for a friend's 3 year old son. I wasn't super excited about it, but I had promised I would and it ended up being so much fun!! I've seen the kid on several occasions and he's cute as a bug, but I didn't really know what to expect tonight. It wasn't perfect (he peed his pants twice in a short period of time...I didn't get mad, even when he tried to fib about it), but I had a good time with him! We danced in their living room and played drums and cymbals (most of you know that I LOVE being loud!) and I taught him funny little phrases like, "Get outta town!" and "You're full of bologna!" He was so good, and it really felt good acting like a kid again. Of course, I had to make him eat his dinner and sit still at times, but we splashed together while he was in the tub and cheered when he finally did pee on the potty.

It made me long even more to have children. To teach them stupid little things like holding cymbals to their ears after banging them together, or how to fill the little squirt toys with water, or saying funny things like "Holy schmoly!", or teaching them the Pinky Swear and laughing as they call their thumb a pinky.

I want with everything in me to be called Mom. To see their eyes light up when I walk in the door, to get morning, afternoon, and evening snuggles, and to rock them to sleep at night (not every night!). To teach them to be kind to all humans and all animals. And so many, many other things.

I keep trying to think that someone out there has something better in store for me. I wish things could happen quickly (despite all the drama going on around here!), but whatever we do is going to take time. Lots of it.

Sometimes, life can be so damned unfair.

Bailey, Part Deux

Forgot to mention (if anyone's interested)...

Bailey seems to be doing much better! She's not as stiff when walking around and getting up from sleeping, and she hasn't cried out in pain in more than a week. She's been using the stairs more, which she really shouldn't be doing--she gets so excited about going out that she bounces down them before we can catch her. ☺ We did take her to Waynee World with us last weekend, and I know from experience that that place has healing properties, so it's possible...

She did turn 12 (years) a few weeks ago, so these things are destined to happen to an old dog. Thankfully, she has a few good years left in her! She'll need all her strength and energy after we move and the cats come home (Daisy's been living with Paul's mom, and Salsa is The Cat Who Lives In The Basement at Kate's). Fighting off Salsa will be her biggest challenge (hopefully, Daisy will remember her!).

Thanks for any good thoughts sent her way!

Better

I'm feeling better since my last (depressing!) post. That's not to say I'm not angry, but I'm handling better, I guess. This is the hardest issue we'll have in our marriage and, unfortunately, it won't just go away. One of us will walk away from this unsatisfied. I hate like hell that it's me.

School started last night. It was a good class! There are 15 in there (18 signed up, but I'm not sure where the other 3 were). One student is a repeat from last year--she took 101 with me and wanted to continue in 102, but couldn't because of family issues. She decided to repeat 101 instead of trying to tackle 102 next semester. I can't say I blame her. Taking it, then skipping 2 semesters before taking it again, would be really hard. One guy stayed after class to tell me that this was his 2nd time in 101. He took it last year with the other man who teaches it (the one who's 100 years old, or close to it), but he said the old guy was so bad that the dean ended up refunding money to several students by the end of the semester. I was pretty shocked when I heard that, and I have to wonder how much longer they're going to let this go on. I had heard negative things about him before, so this isn't new. He's been there for 10 years and teaches nothing but 101. That alone should be a HUGE red flag. I'm not just saying this because I'm angling for his job. He really is bad. Anyway, class went really well, so hopefully I can keep all 15 of them in there!

We had a nice weekend at Waynee World with the Kaschers. Sad to think that's my last weekend there this year. Last year, we went once in the fall, which was nice, but definitely NOT the same.
New in house news: we have a new realtor. Her name is Lise (pron. Lisa) and she's VERY nice. She sent a stager our way yesterday. This woman spent 3 hours combing through our house, looking in every corner and giving us TONS of advice. Basically, it boils down to 3 things: carpet, paint on walls, and the exterior. We were surprised by a few things she said, but not by the majority. Now, it's a matter of us getting these things done and putting the house back on the market. Goal: 2 weeks. Reality: 3-4 weeks. Hope: next week. ☺ We're now in the process of finding people to do the work we need done. We have a few ideas, but we want it done QUICK, which might be tricky. For the record, we will be using Dawn to help us buy a house, which might be more fun for her anyway.

So that's the latest. I have a day off tomorrow (my Korean student cancelled on me) so I'll have a day to get stuff done (before bowling tomorrow night)! YAY!

Enjoy the rest of the week!!

ONE and ZERO

These days, I have a lot of anger. At first, I thought it was just PMS (which, each month, has varying degrees of intensity, most pretty low). But it's been bad for a week now. I know why, but it's dealing with it that's become hard.

We've decided to put off IVF another month (this isn't the source of anger, rather it's a relief right now). There's too much stress having to choose a protocol, having blood tests run (I went today for the AMH...anti-mullerian hormone, or something like that, to give an idea about my ovarian function), plus all the non-infertility issues (house, cancer, school, you name it). Now is not a good time to be starting IVF-related junk.

The anger is about egg donation. I want it, Paul doesn't. We can go back and forth about the subject, but at the core of it, it's still a ONE and a ZERO. He talks about his feelings for not wanting to, and as previously mentioned, I don't really understand them. Nor can he understand my feelings of wanting to. This leaves us in quite a quandary.

How does one help a man understand the desire a woman has to be pregnant?

That's the question of the day. At times, I feel like it just doesn't matter how I feel or how bad I want it. He's calling all the shots. He says no and I'm expected to just accept it and move on. I can't do that. My therapist says I need to grieve. I guess I'm in that anger stage now. Problem is, I don't see a way out.

I love Paul with all my heart. I won't leave him because of this--this isn't a make-or-break deal. I take the vows of marriage seriously and intend to have a long, healthy marriage. But that doesn't mean I understand any of this. Or like it. Or accept it.

I've been reading different websites (and crying my eyes out); one in particular does a nice job explaining about the stages of grief as they relate to infertility. Another is good at explaining how to deal with someone going through infertility. While it's good to read similar accounts and know I'm not completely alone (though I've never felt completely alone), they really don't completely relate to our situation.

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. I'm thankful to have people to talk to about it, but it's still so hard. There's so much I don't understand, and I don't know how to deal with. I guess my point is, if you see me or talk to me and I sound completely negative about everything, this is why. If I don't feel like going out or attending parties or seeing anyone, please don't be mad at me. I'm struggling so hard to deal with all this. I feel weak and tired and at times, I want to curl up on the couch and not move for days. But I can't, and therefore I'm not functioning in the real world at my full capacity.

Forgive me.

Changes

Paul and I have decided to hold off another month before starting the next round of IVF. We want to look more into our options, maybe visit with another doctor, and see what the test results will be. I don't think (potentially) poor results will sway us away from going through another cycle, but I'll be better able to prepare myself for the inevitable.

I'm sure there are some out there wondering why we're bothering to do this all again, especially with such a low success rate. I didn't realize how much I wanted to give birth to a child until not being able to was shoved in my face. I've always wanted to adopt, but I said that I would adopt after having a child myself. I never in a million years thought it would be a problem--I just figured since my period was ALWAYS regular (I mean, if I was cast away on a remote island with nothing but a volleyball named Wilson, I would always know how much time I'd been there and what day of the month it was). I figured a regular period meant everything was running smoothly. But unfortunately, a regular period is no indication of how good the stuff is in there. Mine's not so good anymore.

This is absolutely my only hope of carrying a child. For those wondering why we just don't use an egg donor, Paul is against this. All ideas of this--his swimmers plus a related egg, plus a donor egg, or donor swimmers and donor egg. He can explain his position, but none of it really makes sense to me. The whole point is, he's made it clear that he will NEVER change his position on this. End of that discussion.

So there you have it. I want to carry a child. Just once. I want to experience all of it, good and bad. I want to feel that little life moving around in there. I want to go through childbirth (with a good epidural, of course...I'm not completely dense....). I want to hold that child and see him/her looking back at me. It was always my dream to have a little girl with big brown eyes and tons of dark hair who looked like a combo of her father and me (oh, the nose she'd have to deal with!). No matter what happens, that's what I want. And I'll do anything to get it, including putting myself through months of drugs and shots (sub-q and intermuscular) and pills and patches and hormones and vitamins and acupuncture and herbs and anything else it takes to get there.

And I have ranted. Thank you for reading.

Latest

We had our 4th doctor appt today (another new guy...4th since July). He started by asking us if we'd heard of egg donation, or if anyone had suggested it.



Um, yeah.



So he continued by asking us a bunch of general questions. He never really got around to what he might do, except to say he might do the flare protocol (which was basically what we had done the 2nd time, and we all know how well that worked). He did make a comment that it was possible that the result could end the same way as the try with Rinehart (the 2nd guy...cancellation...).



Without hesitation, I wrote a big fat NO in my notebook.



He then (oddly) mentioned that he'd been to some infertility conference in China, where they discussed a "new" protocol for poor responders. He got our attention--Paul leaned back in his chair and asked him to explain. The doc said that it hasn't been discussed yet, but it's a Chinese method. And that's all he said about it.



I'm not totally convinced...



So that was basically it. The only part of it that was worth anything was the end, where he wrote a "prescription" for some blood tests that I need to have done.

Time out: I forgot to mention that yesterday, I went to my PCP for a general exam (I've always gone to a general doc for the gyne stuff). I took along a couple of the sheets I'd gotten from a couple IVF docs that explain the tests I should have done before we start. My PCP came into the room, after having seen the papers, and proceeded to YELL AT ME about the required tests, saying she didn't know what half of them were and how was she supposed to order them and enter them into the computer if she didn't know what they were and blahblahblahblahblahblahblah.... She did the pap smear and one of the other tests for an STD (standard for IVF). She then YELLED AT ME again to reiterate her point about not being able to do the tests. Mind you, I've tried calling a gynecologist about where to go to have these tests done, and no one could tell me (granted, the girl I spoke to at the office was likely no more than 14 years old). It's been frustrating trying to get these done, moreso because we haven't chosen a doctor to go back to to ask about them.

SO...going back to today's doctor, as worthless as he and his ideas were, I did get the testing info I needed, so I can get those done. One of the tests, AMH, will give us an idea (not definitive) about my ovarian reserve, or how many little suckers are in there that might be worthwhile. It's not one to live by, mind you, but it's the closest they can get to getting an idea about this sort of thing, which normally is damn impossible to test.

I'm wondering now if knowing the results of that might halt this whole IVF process in its tracks. So do I really want to know?

Yup. I do.

The other good thing about today is that I rode my scooter from St. Charles to Downers Grove, from DG to Oak Brook, from OB to Bartlett, from Bartlett to Geneva, and from Geneva to home. It was an AWESOMLY AMAZING scooter day!!

Enjoy the weekend!!

Early

It's early morning and I'm mostly awake. Bailey is doing better, but was up barking at 3:30 this morning. She's been soaking her cage at night (and during the day when she's in it). I feel so bad for her. You can tell she hates doing it--it's definitely not in her nature. I didn't give her the muscle relaxers last night because she seemed so much better, but I probably should have. She spent a lot of time in the cage yesterday (I didn't take her to work with me). It seems when she's in there, she comes out in a better mood and appears to be so much better. When she sleeps on the floor next to us by the couch or in the office, she doesn't feel as well, so we try to keep her in there as much as possible. She sleeps on a bed in her cage, and I think this helps her somehow. Anyway, she's on strict cage rest, so it's better for her in the long run.

Paul and I are doing ok. We have to decide on an IVF protocol by the time my period starts (should be next Wed). I did some research online the other day, and from what I found, it's a crap-shoot at this point. I don't think there's one protocol that's better than the others, so we just have to decide which doctor we want to go with. So far, I think I'm with the last one. Can't explain why exactly. We still have one more appt today (yes, another!) to see what this guy has to say. It seems that every time we meet with one, we like him better than the one before. This next one's in Oakbrook, and I doubt we'd choose him simply because of the distance I'd have to travel for testing, but we'd like to hear what he has to say about what the other's have said.

This weekend should be nice. We're spending the day with the Halls tomorrow (HAPPY 10th ANNIVERSARY, KATE AND ROB!), then Sunday, we're hosting the family I have tutored (I actually still tutor the husband, Benoît, and have for almost 2 years...I tutored his wife for the first 9 months or so). They're moving back to France at the end of the month and we wanted to see them to say good-bye. They're really nice people and as much as I'll miss my Wednesday afternoons with Benoît, I'm kind of looking forward to having that time back. ☺

No news on the house yet. I think we'll be taking it off the market soon and tearing up the inside--new flooring throughout, painted walls, possibly new siding or roof. I'm sick of this place being on the market and not moving. I know it's a slow market, but houses have to be PERFECT, and ours definitely isn't. We may be looking at another agent as well, but that's still undecided.

Enjoy the scooter-riding weather! Should be a nice weekend!

Bailey update

Yes, I'm updating my blog about the dog. Poor Bailey has been in a lot of pain. After looking a wee better on Saturday, she had a setback on Sunday morning. Paul was at his desk working on his computer and she was sleeping in her favorite spot under the desk. I was at my computer in another room when suddenly, I heard this horrific screaming from Bailey, almost as if Paul was stepping on her or something. I run in there to find her sitting on the floor, crooked, stiff as a board, yelping her head off. I calmed her down, but she still wasn't moving. I took her out to the dining room and set her on the floor, where she proceeded to empty her bladder (through no fault of her own, I'm sure). Her back legs didn't seem to be working right. I called Lisa, the vet (I have good connections!). I told her what happened and from the sounds of it, Bailey was startled out of her sleep and probably just locked up from a sudden jerking movement. Soon after, I did get her to show interest in a treat. She walked to the kitchen like she was drunk--staggering this way and that. It was so sad. There wasn't much that Lisa could do, so we decided to just wait and see how things went during the day.

We went to Paul's sister's to celebrate their dad's birthday. I kept her in her cage most of the time, which upset her--she spent a lot of time barking and carrying on. I let her out when the kids were busy and not running around. She seemed ok, though a little stiff. We let her do what she does best--clean the kitchen floor. ☺ That's her favorite thing to do there.

Anyway, last night, she was once again stiff and sore. This morning wasn't any better--in fact, much worse. I called the vet clinic and Lisa said she'd put her on a muscle relaxer, so I picked that up and started her on it this afternoon. It makes her very drowsy, so she's sleeping in her cage (I had to put her there because she keeps wanting to follow me around, despite her condition).

The poor dog is miserable. Unfortunately, there's not much beyond x-rays that Lisa can do at the clinic, so we may have to go see a specialist elsewhere. You'd think I'd be used to this sort of thing, having had Pinky and Maggie in the past, but Bailey's been different. She's lasted the longest of all the dogs, and she's completely stolen our hearts, which are now broken every time she cries out in pain. I just don't know what to do, but we'll do whatever we can to help her, of course. Still, it's so hard to see. I'm so thankful for my job at the clinic! Not just because of the fantastic discount I get on everything, but because I have a doctor I can call on her day off to ask about my pathetic dog. Lisa's wonderful, without a doubt!

More as it becomes available...

BBB

Bad Blogger Becky. That's what I've been this week. It's been crazy since the end of our vacation, but here's the recap:

1) We left Quebec on Sunday to drive to Niagara Fall, supposedly a 9+ hour drive. We got going at 4am, and after a potential debacle getting out of our B&B parking lot, we found ourselves on the QEW (main highway that goes to the falls after 100 miles). Within 5 minutes of getting on the QEW, traffic came to a halt. Seems we weren't the only ones headed that way. Frankly, Niagara Falls isn't tops on my places to go to, so it was up to Paul to finally turn around, which he did not long after. We headed back to the highway that leads home and, after begging Paul to stop at a hotel for the night and the million refusals he gave in response, at just after midnight, we arrived safe and sound at home. It took 20 hours to get from Quebec to St. Charles, but we stopped a couple times and only had bad traffic in Gary, IN (no surprise). We were wiped out on Monday, but we did a lot of laundry and hung out at home finishing our vacation. The vacation was really spectacular, save for the drive there and back.

2) I found out why Les Miz was not what I was expecting. Apparently, in honor of the 400th anniversary of Quebec city celebration, the theater (where Les Miz was performed) commissioned to show an updated version of the musical. The story was the same, but the sets and songs were all changed. It was still a professional cast that starred in it, but that's all I really know. I'm still disappointed, but it's good to have an explanation. Now I just need to find that new soundtrack in French (hahaha). MAJOR KUDOS AND GOOD JUJU TO THE FIRST PERSON TO FIND IT FOR ME. I'm betting that my dad is already on google. ☺

3) On Wednesday, we met with yet another fertility doctor (Morris). He was recommended by my friend Leslie (who also gave us Dr. Miller's name). We went to see him and were surprised by what he had in mind: essentially, a whole new protocol. For those keeping track, that now makes THREE we have to choose from. It's called Low Dose HCG (the other 2 are the antagonist approach, and a high-dose FSH). My reaction: MERDE. We both liked Morris and his straight-forward approach, but I found him to be the least enthusiastic about us doing this again. That's not to say he wouldn't do it--he just didn't sound too upbeat about the whole process. I'm not either, so that works.

Anyway, his approach would completely take out both the Lupron AND the Menopur (the latter being one he said is potentially a contaminant...and also one that was used in the first 2 tries and would be used in the other 2 protocols). I really have to do a lot more research on this. I would be on a very high dose of FSH, followed by lowering it to a miniscule amount and starting with a low dose of the HCG.

I'm sure this is all alphabet soup to anyone reading it. Paul feels the same way, so don't think you're alone.

He told us of a few other protocols that exist, but if he were going to help us this time around, he would do the above-mentioned one. SO...now we have 3. And finding information on any of them isn't that easy. There is information out there, but on the internet, most of what's found is what everyone else has gone through and posted on message boards. I can't find many hard facts, so whatever we decide will be almost solely based on everyone's opinion.

I'll take time later to explain the typical process of IVF. I'm just too tired tonight.

4) In other news, Paul's computer took a nose dive off the nearest edge and died the other day. We went to a computer store in Naperville last night to shop for something new, and he found an HP at an affordable price (so much so that he bought one for his mom as well). He still isn't quite sure what made his crap out, but it's either the power supply, or errors in the registry. There are more details about what could be the cause, but I couldn't begin to explain them. Anyway, he spent a good portion of this morning putting things together, merging the 2, and figuring out the rest.

5) The last bit of news is Bailey (the dog). Wednesday, we had our doctor appt, then went to play cards with Busia (P's grandmother). We left the dog at home in her cage because we couldn't take her to the appt. We got home just after 9pm and let her out. She seemed very out-of-sorts and wasn't turning her head. She started yelping in pain shortly thereafter and, after a few moments of panic, we noticed that the problem appeared to be in her neck and shoulders. She wasn't limping, but just very stiff and shaky (almost like she might have been having muscle contractions). I almost took her to the emergency vet that night, but decided to hold off until the next day when I went into work.

The next morning, she was yelping even more than the night before. It was sooooo heartbreaking! She's had pain before but normally, there are few signs of it. She's never cried out like she was, even to the slightest touch. I took her into work at 8:30am, even though I wasn't due in until 12noon. I figured I'd give Lisa more time to look her over. I went back home and cleaned (we had 2 showings), then went back at noon. Lisa had checked her out and suggested x-rays and bloodwork, so those were done. Results: nothing out of the ordinary was found. She suspects it might be some sort of disc disease so, for the next 7-10 days, Bailey is on strict cage rest (no climbing or jumping either, which means we have to carry her in and out to the yard to pee and poop), a pain killer, steroids, and Pepcid AC (to protect her stomach from the steroids, which can be really hard on her). She has improved since then but not completely. Her head turns in both directions now, but earlier today I decided to test her and see if she could make the stairs. She did, but yelped on the way up, so no more stairs for a while.

I feel so bad for her. I should be used to this sort of thing, since I have a history of dogs with problems (they are my favorite kinds!). I'm glad she's on the way to being healed, but it's going to be a slow process. Tomorrow, we are going to Paul's sister's (to celebrate their dad's birthday) and we'll take Bailey, but she'll have to stay in a cage the whole time. Likely, we'll allow her to clean the kitchen floor, which is one of her all-time favorite things to do there, but after that, it's cage time.

So that's it on the homefront. I'm exhausted--it's after 11pm and Bailey had me up at 4:30am (neither of us could get back to sleep), and I have a feeling she'll be up again tomorrow morning at the same time. I'm sleeping on the couch tonight (Paul has a horrendous cold and snores too much for me to get any sleep), so I won't leave her in the cage. She'll now have more direct access to getting me up at the crack of dawn. GREAT.

This was a long post! Sorry about that, moreso because I'm sure most of it is boring. It's nice for me to have a journal to look back on though.

Enjoy the warmth while it lasts!!

Quebec 3

Well, last night's performance of Les Miz, while brilliantly acted, was not what I expected. I have the original French soundtrack (had it for 20+ years) that I've listened to quite often. I've played it for my students, and there are songs that I know almost by heart. The words to the majority of the songs last night were completely different. It was disappointing, even moreso because the little gift shop didn't have the newer French version. I need to go home and compare song titles, but one, for instance, was the song La journée est finie (the end of the day), one of the songs from the beginning of the play. In last night's version, it was called Quand le jour est passé (when the day has passed). WHAT THE HELL IS THAT??! They had none of the grandiose sets from before. Even when I saw the production in Tokyo, they had all that in there. I think there were a few songs last night that I didn't even recognize, though Paul swears they were there before.

Despite all my bitching about it, it was very well done. It was a London company and it had a lot more graphics than there were before (remember, it's been 10 years since I last saw it!). All in all, it was a great production!

Afterwards, we walked around and around looking for a bar. They all seem to close early on Friday nights, but we did find one and had a few cocktails. This morning, we walked around a bit more before splitting off this afternoon--Paul went on a historical river cruise (I love boats, but this wasn't really my thing), and I walked and walked and walked. The weather here has been weird--very cool, in the low 70's, and rainy. Even the native Quebeckers are puzzled by it. It's also been VERY VERY VERY humid (100% each day), making it feel warmer than it actually is. My skin is usually sticky and clammy, but I might be chilled at the same time. It's annoying, really. I feel cold so I cover up at night, but I get too hot. There's no good in-between.

We're headed out at 4am tomorrow (theoretically) to go to Niagara Falls. We'll have a look, then drive a bit to find a hotel. I think we'll be coming back through Canada into Michigan--we looked about going through NY, PA, etc. but time-wise, it would take way too long that way. We want the quickest route possible, at this point.

I hope my ramblings haven't been too boring. Sometimes I read blogs or emails from people and I'm bored to tears. That's probably happened to a few who've read any of this, but I think I'm doing this more for me anyway, so feel free to ignore. ☺ I'm going to go grab my book and sit out on the balcony and read.

By the way, if anyone has a working stove/oven to get rid of, let me know. My sister's broke and they need something to tide them over for a little while. ☺

Quebec 2

WOW! Our time in Quebec the last couple of days has been all action-packed. The first day, after Paul got up from his nap, we went out to explore the area around our B&B, which is located in an area called Old Quebec. We ended up walking down a few streets that took us to the wharf area. As we followed it around, we found a walkway that (stupidly) we decided to take, despite reading that it has 310 stairs, all apparently going in the direction of UP. It wasn't all 310 at one time--there were stretches of straight walking, and even one small set of stairs that went down, but for the most part, we were going up. It was quite beautiful--it was along a mountain side, outside the walls of the area of Old Quebec, but by the time we reached the top, we were both exhausted and a wee sore. We ended up walking back towards our B&B along the wall of the Old Quebec area, which was kind of cool! And a little dangerous--there were no barriers, and I kept hoping no one passing in the other direction would suddenly get the urge to be homicidal and give me a little push. Finally, at the end of it all, we arrived back at the B&B safe and sound. Despite being exhausted, we decided to venture out again to forage for food. We ended up at a neat little restaurant where we drank ourselves silly, had deep conversations, and ate really good food. We spent a lot of $$, too, but that's irrelevant when you're on vacation (or so I keep telling myself).

Yesterday, we got up and had a great breakfast downstairs. This B&B is really nice! We met another couple from Boston who were getting ready to leave. The woman making breakfast gave all of us free tickets to the fine arts museum in town where they have an exhibit of art from the Louvre (in Paris). Paul and I decided to part ways in the morning and do our own thing, then meet up around lunchtime and head to the museum. I ended up spending the morning at Walmart. Yes, as odd as that sounds, I wanted to check out a Canadian Walmart. All in all, pretty much the same stuff, and with the dollar where it is now, the prices weren't too far off, but the biggest difference was that all of the signs and announcements were in French. It was so cool! I wish I'd taken my camera (left it at the B&B because it was raining, and who thought I'd need it in a Walmart??). I got a few things we needed (including a travel clock), and came upon a rack selling books for kids. A lot of them were French grammar-related, so I spent a good 40 minutes or so going through them, picking out ones that I liked and that I thought might be good for classes and/or future children. That was the best part! I ended up spending a bundle, but it was Walmart so it could have been worse elsewhere.

While I was off doing my thing, Paul went to a historical museum, then walked around another area near the old part of the city. We met up around noon at the B&B, and I ended up laying down and taking a nap while he played games on the computer. Afterwards, we went to the art museum to see the much-touted exhibit called Le Louvre à Québec (the Louvre in Quebec). I think we both expected greatness, but were a little disappointed. It was like they went to the Louvre and picked out a few hundred of the most boring things you could see there and brought those over. There were a few good paintings, but nothing really famous. It was disappointing but we were glad the tickets had been free. At least we hadn't paid a ton to get in and see nothing. After the museum, we went to the part of town where Paul had been in the morning. It was an area of street after street of little shops. I loved it there, which he figured, and we spent a couple hours walking around and having lunch. We drove back and spent the evening...you guessed it...playing Yahtzee. Thank goodness for those little dice! I think Paul went and watched TV in another part of the B&B for a while before our tournament.

One note about the French here: I wondered what it would be like since the Canadian accent is so different from the French one (which I'm used to). There are a lot of little differences, but for the most part, I understand it and I think they understand me. I don't get everything that's said to me, but as long as I know the context in which something is said, I can pick it up. There are times, though, where it's not so easy.

Right now, I'm sitting on the balcony of our room at the B&B. There are 3 floors--we're on the top floor with 3 other rooms, and we're the only one with a private bathroom and a balcony (which I LOVE!!). There's a shared one in the hallway of this floor. The second floor has a large common room with a TV, couches, and an old piano, along with bedrooms that I think belong to the owner of the B&B (but I'm not sure). The first floor has a kitchen and dining area where we have breakfast. The breakfasts here are at a HUGE round table with other guests, and the meal is simple but quite good! There's a lazy susan in the middle of the table with condiments, cereal, fruit, and other small things, but the woman that works here (I don't think she owns the place) is young, maybe in her early 30's, and she does the cooking and checking people in and out. She's VERY nice and a pretty good cook! The B&B is on a street with a bunch of other B&B's, and some smaller hotels. It's very quaint and quiet, for the most part.

I went off for a while on my own this morning, shopping and trying to find an outfit for tonight--we walked a few blocks to a large theater this morning and got tickets to see Les Misérables! I've seen this 3 times now--twice in English (Chicago and Spfld) and once in Japanese (Toyko), so this will be my first time seeing it in French. I'm so excited!! It's my all-time favorite musical and I know the French soundtrack by heart (thanks to typing up all the words back in college for Dr. Ryan), so I'm looking VERY forward to this! Paul is, too--he's seen it twice, I think. This is why we go so well together!

It's been a fantastic vacation so far! We've had so much fun and we're ok with being together or doing stuff apart. But most of what we do is together. I think he's in a park reading right now, so I'm going to go try to find him. Our internet connection is bad, so there may not be another update while we're here, but we'll be back late Monday. We're leaving here on Sunday and driving to Niagara Falls. I'll miss this place but I have no doubt we'll be back! It's been good to practive my French, though I think I prefer going to Paris ot do that. ☺ Should be no surprise to anyone.

More later (I hope!)!!