Officially

I'm not pregnant. I went in for the blood draw this morning and they called this afternoon with the results. I'm sad, but strangely at peace with this. I firmly believe that every feeling we have is a choice, and I'm choosing to be ok with this. I will always wish we'd had more---a slew of kids!---but we have one pretty terrific one, so now it's about being happy for that. And I am...extremely so! How lucky am I to have this kid? Easily the luckiest mom in the world!

So now, I'm done trying. Oddly, it's a very freeing feeling! Oh, we may still try, but not like before. Yes, I did get pregnant once naturally, but look how well that turned out. NOT something I want to repeat...EVER. (by that, I mean the miscarriage part)

I'd rather just enjoy my life with my husband and sweet boy. I want to plan family vacations to Disney World and Paris and DC, and I want to spend the rest of my life watching the wonder in my child's eyes. I want to know that his heart skips a beat the first time he sees the Eiffel Tower, just as mine did 25+ years ago. I want to see him shriek with excitement at seeing Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck, and watch his eyes widen during the descent at the end of Splash Mountain. I want to take him to Lucca, Italy to see where his anscestors are from. I want to take pictures of him on his first day of school every year, and watch him master the water slides at the pool each summer. THESE are stuff my dreams are made of.

In a way, I feel like our life as a family is just now beginning. We're complete, and from here is a world of new discoveries, being a family of 3. And that's kinda cool!